Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
