she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
