Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
