So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
