its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize