i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Bring me that man meat
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
