Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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