I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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