bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
