he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
