never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Randomize
