I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
