ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Randomize
