Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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