I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
