I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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