we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I just had sex on a roof
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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