Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
