terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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