I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
