if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
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