yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
