Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Text me some of your sweat
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
