Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
