if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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