he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
