Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
