then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
We had to coat check the pizza.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize