2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
