I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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