Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Randomize
