get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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