shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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