I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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