You're completely useless in the revolution.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
