sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
