..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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