it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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