drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
