So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I want her autograph on my taint
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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