been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
