I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
