I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
