They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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