Just mADE A PArabola og urine
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
My cat gives me a boner
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
