Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
