I want to walk on stilts...naked
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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