Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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