I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Randomize