physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize
