I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
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