so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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