it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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