Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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