Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
