what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
If I die, sorry about rent.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
