smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Randomize
